


Stalled: The Revenge Story

by General_Spooky



Series: Fics where Allen Walker gets stuck in a window [3]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-16 02:33:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8083243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/General_Spooky/pseuds/General_Spooky
Summary: To be fair, a public restaurant was probably a bad choice to take the exorcists for a meeting. Allen finds a way to get a little bit of revenge for what his friends put him through. Sequel to High and Dry and Stuck, also inspired by a Friends episode.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a few people mentioning how Allen needed to take revenge and I was probably a little too excited about it. I probably could've added a little more revenge but I can still do it in the future.

The restaurant was filled with the chattering of multiple, varied customers, most of which in nice clothes that made Allen feel out of place. Even when he and Cross traveled, Allen only dressed modestly, keeping up the look of being Cross’s underling and even bordering on resembling an assistant with how Allen chased him around, reminding him of the work that needed to be done. Of course, Allen stopped reminding the man after the first four months of being his apprentice, but he remembered it strongly, and more importantly, why he stopped acting as Cross’s scheduler. At least the other exorcists weren’t too overly flashy, either, the most well dressed in the group being the chief Komui, division leader Reever, the inspector Lvellie, and Link. They were tucked in the back of the restaurant, staying mostly out of view since they  _did_  look like a strange group of people, whether it was Allen with his white hair or Bookman with his… general appearance, or simply the way they were all uncomfortable sharing the same table.

 

All that Allen wanted to do was bring out his phone instead, to busy himself, to look away from all of this without facing the hell that would come if he tried to escape again. He’d learned his lesson, and with the other exorcists present he didn’t dare leave them behind, because if he did, they’d certainly punish him later, whether by actually fighting him or simply abandoning him when he needed their help. Link already had a firm eye on him, and he tried to not let it make him lose his appetite as he stared at the pathetically small portions of overly expensive food in front of him.

 

“So, Walker,” Lvellie spoke up, startling Allen out of his thoughts enough that his fork fell from his fingers and clattered against the table, causing the man to only stare disappointedly at Allen who clumsily panicked to pick it back up. “… if you’re done embarrassing yourself,” Lvellie continued as Allen stared at him uneasily, “where is General Cross? He should be joining us tonight, shouldn’t he?”

 

Allen smiled sheepishly, swallowing his dread, “Well, master decided he wanted to go to France… so he took a flight there.”

 

“When did he leave?”

“Two weeks ago to give him a head start running from you,” Allen smiled even though he could see his dinner guests visibly grimace, none surprised in the least though Lvellie was certainly looking much scarier than he already did.

 

Lvellie then turned to Link, who didn’t even so much as blink. “Why didn’t you tell me he left?”

 

 “You told me to watch Walker, not Marian,” Link answered boldly, “and I did. I tried to get it to you but you were out of country. Before you left, you told me to give my reports to the chief for when you got back.”

 

All eyes turned to Komui, who was taking a drink of water, however he didn’t lower the cup from his lips, simply holding it there for an uncomfortable amount of time until Lvellie’s eyes started narrowing. Seeing the warning signs of the angry inspector, Komui then finally set his cup down, his expression flat as he spoke without apology.

 

“Oh, it seems they’ve been lost.”

 

As multiple people began chewing Komui out and being blissfully ignored, Allen felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He glanced over to Link to see if he noticed, seeing that he instead was fully distracted by Lvellie’s angry words, the young man looking quite unhappy as he was seated next to Komui, being inadvertently yelled at. Taking his chance, Allen skillfully slipped his phone out of his pocket with his fingers, glancing down at the screen as he angled it just enough to see what someone had sent him. Seeing it was a picture, he blinked, glancing to where Lavi was seated, but when the bookman was merely watching the inspector yell at the chief, Allen disposed of his suspicions before opening the picture.

 

He wasn’t expecting to see a picture of himself looking downright uncomfortable at the table he was seated at, Lvellie in the picture yelling, so Allen knew it must’ve been taken only a second before. Taking note of the position of the picture, Allen glanced over his shoulder, though when he spotted Tyki sneakily waving at him from a booth at the far end of the restaurant, Allen went ahead and grimaced.

 

It seemed to be the wrong response as Tyki made a face at him, grimacing right back and sticking his tongue out for good measure. Though Allen would love to get into a face-making match with his fellow poker player, Allen had to hold himself back. Instead, he glanced down at his phone, pretending to still be paying attention to the argument as his thumb worked on the keyboard on the screen.

 

‘ _Why are you here_.’ It wasn’t really a question at all, and as he glanced back again, he saw Tyki snicker.

 

Allen looked back once he knew that Tyki was going to be talking to him, but not before he noticed the three humans that Tyki was seated with, also in their own conversation so Allen figured that Tyki was in the same spot as him: bored, uncomfortable, and willing to find anything to distract themselves with. It was only a few moments until he got another text.

 

‘ _Friend had a discount. Having fun?_ ’

 

‘ _Absolutely not._ ’

 

 ‘ _Wanna make some fun, then?_ ’

 

Allen felt his face visibly shift to a light scowl, though he wiped it clear just as it appeared. He needed his pokerface now, or he’d risk Lvellie or anyone else catching wind of his escapade texting. He glanced over, seeing Komui pushing his faults on Reever who didn’t take it lightly, Lenalee trying to calm them both down as Lavi giggled, Kanda with his head thrown over the back of his chair looking like he just wanted to die. Seeing that it was still safe, Allen returned to his phone.

 

 ‘ _Not your kind of fun._ ’

 

‘ _Oh, come on. You don’t know what I was going to suggest._ ’

 

Allen shot a disapproving glare back at Tyki, making sure he knew fully well that after everything he’d done, Allen was already done with his shenanigans. His face, however, apparently made Tyki crack up, his friends around him immediately trying to get to his phone, though Tyki held it away, smirking playfully before the men got up from their seats. It only occurred to Allen that they’d finished eating, and feeling somewhat disappointed, Allen turned back to the argument, sighing to himself as he wondered how long it would last. At this point, Komui and Link were fighting about where Link put the reports, and then where Komui put them, and then what side of the desk Link put it on because ‘it could be under my latest research efforts!’, which, according to Reever, were simply a charade to make it look like Komui was just as busy as the rest of them.

 

When the phone vibrated that time, Allen froze as the argument dropped to silence. A wave of uncomfortableness and dread filled Allen, the way Link flinched almost affirming that Allen had been caught, though when the man simply went back to telling Komui what colour the file was, he knew he was safe. Allen had to wonder  _why_  they were still arguing about a couple of missing reports.

 

He glanced down to his phone, blinking a little widely at the contents. ‘ _If you want out then follow me to the bathroom._ ’

 

‘ _Are you kidding me, if I bail they’ll actually kill me this time._ ’

 

 ‘ _Nuh-uh, c’mon,_ ’ Allen could hear Tyki’s voice as though he were speaking instead, ‘ _meet me in there, I’m not saying let’s sneak out._ ’

 

By the time Kanda had threatened to cut everyone to pieces if they didn’t shut up, Allen was fully ready to take a break, and so he nudged Link, gaining his attention though the fiery burning rage in Link’s eyes surprised him, making Allen jump in his seat. He slipped his phone into his pocket without being seen, and he flashed a smile to Link, sweet and honest just like most people expected him to be.

 

“Hey, I’m going to the bathroom,” he said it uneasily, unsure if Link would allow him after he managed to escape the last dinner party they attended.

 

Link readied to get to his feet to accompany him, but as Komui made an off-handed comment about how Link probably didn’t even give him the reports, the man was immediately distracted, whirling around to fight him over it. Allen blinked, but as Link didn’t tell him ‘no’ he got up anyway, stepping around the table as he made towards the restroom, his gaze being snapped back by Lvellie who turned to look at him.

 

Allen was ready to be ordered to sit down or be accused of something, but when the man only smirked condescendingly and said, “Good luck trying to wriggle your way out of here; there aren’t any windows,” Allen’s face turned bright red, his muscles all tensing as he heard Lavi burst into more giggles which Bookman slapped him for.

 

Managing to bring back his gentlemanly smile, Allen nodded. “That’s good to know.” He hoped he sounded  _very_  passive aggressive.

 

He hurried off, ignoring the looks he got from the other customers since he was coming from the loudest table in the restaurant. The bathroom was empty, luckily, and as Allen stepped in he finally let his smile drop into an exhausted frown, wishing that he was at home rather than hiding in a public bathroom. As he heard a laugh, though, he looked up to see Tyki lounging by the sinks, his hair a mess and his eyes obscured by thick glasses, his form definitely in the ‘white’ side of Tyki’s life-coin, which at least put Allen at ease since it meant he wouldn’t be up to any more mischief than he would be if he was wearing his Noah skin.

 

“What are they even arguing about?” Tyki couldn’t keep the smile off his face, his right eye somewhat crinkled in confusion as he looked to Allen curiously. “I swear, you guys disturbed the whole restaurant. Old lady behind me griped the whole time.”

 

Allen sighed. “Paperwork… the chief shouldn’t be allowed to handle papers.”

 

“You guys don’t use computers or something?” Tyki then had a condescending chuckle, “I’d expect more from the guys trying their damnest to win this war.”

 

“They tried computers but they all exploded,” Allen said, his tone an immediate warning not to press for further details; he never wanted to think about that day ever again.

 

Tyki took the hint, though it looked like he really wanted to know, but he was smart and moved on. “Ah, so the mole-guy isn’t following you?”

 

“Middle of the argument…” Allen grumbled, “they’re only fine with me being alone because there’s no window in here.”

 

“Oh yeah, your little schemes,” Tyki’s eyes then lidded knowingly, and as he approached Allen he reached out, Allen not expecting for his hands to grab his hips and glide over them, Allen’s face red though Tyki’s only looked pleased. “Hah, no wonder. Kid you’re loaded on this end…”

 

Reaching the limits of his patience, Allen readied his left fist to punch Tyki square in the face, but it only went through him when he swung, Tyki laughing heartily as he stepped out of Allen’s arm.

“Ooh, angry, angry! It’s not an insult, hell you should be proud! You’re probably the envy of your little girlfriend,” Tyki smirked, Allen shaking as he knew that Tyki wasn’t going to let him hit him.

 

Allen scoffed, scowling at him. “Lenalee is not my girlfriend.”

 

 “I was talking about Road, actually,” Tyki shrugged carelessly as Allen simmered. “But! Before you get grumbling about your female friends, I have a proposition for you.”

 

There was a loud clang from the dining room, and it was enough for Allen to change his position and look at Tyki interestedly. “Okay, I’ll bite. What do you have in mind?”

 

 

Allen left the restroom feeling more refreshed, but it immediately crumbled when he saw that they were  _still_  fighting. It occurred to him that it was Komui’s way of procrastinating, weeding out Lvellie’s patience so they could leave without discussing at all what they were originally there for. As Allen looked to Link, though, he could see the man was barely hanging onto the threads of his composure, and Allen only had to sigh, not taking his seat but instead putting his hands on Link’s shoulders.

 

As the man jumped and whirled around to face him, Allen gave him a kind smile. “Link, follow me. You need to cool off or Komui won’t stop patronizing you.”

 

Komui startled, gaping at Allen. “What?! I’m not patronizing!”

 

“You absolutely are,” Reever and Lenalee said in unison, Allen giving a giggle as he pulled Link from his seat, leading the man away and towards the restrooms.

 

“Can you move on by the time we get back?” Allen gave them all a kind smile, though he knew his friends would see the hidden message of ‘ _god help me if you don’t stop then I’m never coming back’_ , or at least something similar.

 

Link groaned as he balled his fists in his hair just as they entered the restroom, his expression telling Allen that he was about ready to shut down and probably needed a nap. After being with the Noah so much, Allen had started seeing napping as an option for when things got challenging, though he hadn’t recognized it yet.

 

Allen patted Link on the back, letting him rant just a little about how dense Komui was, about how he did all his paperwork for naught and that Lvellie was going to be upset with him, and it almost made Allen feel bad for putting him through this.

 

Almost.

 

In order to settle down, Link pressed his forehead to the mirror, resting his hands on the sides of the sink in order to give himself something to hold onto, letting Allen simply wait beside him as he smiled a little guiltily. As Link looked up at him with a glower, however, Allen stopped feeling guilty altogether.

 

“You know, if your master just did what he was told and didn’t keep acting up then we wouldn’t be arguing out there!”

 

Allen sighed, slumping as he nodded. “I know.”

 

“And if he actually showed up then Lvellie could yell at him himself!”

               

“I know.”

               

“And if he-!”

 

 “I know!” Allen whined, his hands raised tensely as they trembled. “Link, I’ve lived with him for over five years, trust me, I know very well.”

 

Seeing that Link was ready to continue ranting, Allen didn’t even so much as blink as a shape went unnoticed behind the blonde’s back. In a move that was both deafening and paralyzing, the nice suit that Link was wearing simply dropped to the floor, leaving him wide-eyed as he stared at Allen, his unfinished rant lingering in the air. The look of betrayal on his face was enough to make Allen crack up, covering his mouth as fast as possible to prevent the bubbling laughter from escaping him. Tyki was also snickering as he stood behind Link, his finger just lightly laid on Link’s shoulder. The sound of Tyki’s laughter made Link whirl around, looking at a loss of what to do because his close-range weapons were now all around his feet, almost in a neat circle like his own body had pushed everything away. It had, of course, because of Tyki’s power of rejection.

 

Tyki raised his hand to Allen, and Allen completed the high-five, both of them still snickering. The scene, however, connected the dots in Link’s head, and he snarled harshly, sending Allen fleeing and Tyki simply dropping through the floor, though he took Link’s clothes with him as he went.

 

Allen skidded to a stop outside the restroom doors, pressing himself to the wall as he covered his mouth to keep himself from giggling too loudly. Tears were in his eyes, and as he glanced around the edge of the wall so he could see the table he could see that none of them had noticed the outburst. Pulling back behind the wall so as to not alert the others, Allen had to fight to catch his breath while also trying to stop laughing. After a moment, Tyki simply raised out of the floor, making Allen all the more happier that the restroom entryway was almost completely closed off from the rest of the restaurant.

 

 “He’s going to kill you, you know,” Tyki sing-songed, smiling mirthfully.

 

“I know but it’s worth it,” Allen grinned back, “but where’d you put his clothes?”

 

“Trunk of the nice black car out front. It’s the old guy’s right?” Tyki grinned as Allen nodded. “Well, then, do you want me to do anything else?”

 

Thinking for a moment, Allen smiled sweetly at Tyki as he said, “Maybe get him something else to wear?”

 

Tyki only took a mere second before he smirked, snapping his fingers as though to show that he thought of something. “I’ll be back. Keep him busy.”

 

Allen nodded, a grin on his lips before he returned to the restroom and Tyki drifted out of the restaurant. How he managed to slip by Lavi was beyond Allen, but he figured that they were still distracted. Inside the restroom, Link had disappeared, but Allen knew he was still in there simply from the feeling of rage that was coming from the stalls along the wall. Allen stayed by the sinks, leaned against one of them and smiled sweetly despite the fact that Link couldn’t see him.

 

“Pray tell,” Link started, his voice slightly wavering in his attempt to regain his composure, “why you had a Noah steal my clothes? Why was he here in the first place?”

 

“Payback for drawing on my arse instead of helping me out of a window, and coincidence or fate is what drew him here,” Allen couldn’t stop smiling; it was just so silly.

 

Grumbling, Link audibly shifted in the stall, Allen able to picture him leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and glare pointed directly towards the back wall. “You brought that on yourself.”

 

“And karma’s a bitter mistress,” Allen teased, “and I’m not talking about Alma.”

 

“Sod off and go shove it up your ass,” Link snorted, and Allen giggled elatedly.

 

“Wow, I got you to swear!” the lilt of amusement in Allen’s voice only seemed to make Link fume more, but it only added to Allen’s amusement. “You can scream all you want, though, I’m not going to help you out.”

 

Link scoffed, “As though I would scream.”

 

 

Allen gave a low, patronizing laugh, which only became cheerful when Link struck the side of the stall. Soon after, someone entered the restroom, and as Allen looked up he was met by Tyki strolling in, a hot pink bag hanging from his wrist.

 

 “Holy hell, is that a Victoria’s Secret bag?” Allen asked in awe, his mouth twitching upwards into a grin.

 

“What?!” Link screamed from the stall, and Allen burst into giggles.

 

Allen stepped forward, smiling goofily as he moved about on his feet. “Lemme see, lemme see…”

 

“Hold your horses, here,” Tyki pulled the nearly see through piece of clothing from the bag, handing it to Allen who could barely contain his excitement.

 

“Oh, boy…” Allen said softly.

 

Link then climbed onto the toilet so he could see over the walls, staring at the two before his eyes found what was in Allen’s hands. “Oh God…”

“Oh, Link!” Allen smirked at Link, a shudder going through the blonde’s frame as he shook his head.

 

“No.”

 

“Link..!”

 

“No!”

 

Tyki gave a low chuckle before he nudged Allen. “You owe me twenty bucks.”

 

“Jesus…” Allen whispered before he fished out his wallet, handing a bill to Tyki who only nodded and started towards the door.

 

“Pleasure workin’ with ya, enjoy your evening,” he paused to smirk at Link, “and I hope your ass enjoys the fabric.”

 

Link’s face was dark red, stammering to get out words but Tyki left before he could come up with anything to say. Eyes snapping to Allen, Link’s betrayed expression returned as he backed against the side of the stall, away from where Allen approached, also climbing onto a toilet so he could see over the wall. Allen gave him a dark grin, holding up the piece of clothing and twirling it around his finger as Link bit back a curse, obviously wishing he had his spells on him.

 

“I’m not wearing that,” Link said immediately.

 

“This or go with nothing,” Allen’s smile was unfaltering.

 

Link gaped, mouth opening and closing repeatedly until he finally sighed, eyebrows lowering as his mouth formed a grumpy frown, snatching the tiny piece of lacey fabric from Allen’s hand before he stepped down, all but yanking them on his body before he grimaced, Allen looking like he was ogling a buffet.

 

Feeling and seeing Allen’s gaze, Link snapped his glare back up to him. “Stop staring!”

 

“I’m sorry!” Allen giggled unapologetically, “But, Jesus, Link, it complements your eyes!”

 

“Will you just-!”

 

Allen chuckled lowly as he crossed his arms on the top of the stall, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. “Want me to go tell Lvellie that you got sick?”

 

“No…” Link grumbled, leaning against the side of the stall, his cheeks still fiery hot.

 

The door to the restroom opened, but Allen barely glanced up, looking back down to Link as he just decided to give it time.

 

Lavi walked to the sinks, his hand reaching for the faucet until his eye caught something out of the ordinary in the reflection of the mirror. He stared at it for a moment until he slowly turned around, looking at Allen like he would a child.

 

“Allen, some people don’t like being looked at like that,” he said in a parental tone, blinking in confusion as Allen looked up and gave him a bubbly smile.

 

“Lavi, come look.”

 

Curious, Lavi stepped into the stall opposite of the one that Allen was peering into, and as he stood up on the toilet to look over the side, his face broke into a wide grin as his eyes found a blushing Link who was now as red as the silky and lacy panties he was wearing.

 

Lavi raised his gaze to meet Allen’s, his smile like he witnessed something beautiful. “Link’s wearing panties!” he all but sang.

 

“Knock it off!” Link punched the side of the stall again before he stepped up to match their heights. “Lavi, give me your underwear.”

 

“Nope!” Lavi snickered. “Hey, Tushie, I don’t know if you know this, but I have been waiting to see what miracles your ass could perform, and now I feel like I’m a step closer.”

 

“Too much information,” Allen said immediately before smirking back at Link. “At least we got you something to wear, Link. Your clothes are on the property if you wanna go looking~”

 

Link didn’t look amused, but Lavi was even more ecstatic at the news. “Are they really?! Who hid them?! I feel like Lvellie would’ve noticed you if you came through, regardless of Link’s clothes!”

 

Link snapped at Lavi before Allen could even utter a syllable. “Because he used a goddamn Noah!”

 

“Holy shit,” Lavi chuckled, “there was a Noah here?!”

 

“Oh my god!” Link’s gaze turned on Allen, who wisely dodged as Link reached to snatch any part of him he could. As Allen got on the ground and backed to the mirrors, Lavi following suit, Link glowered over the top of the stall. “Walker, get over here.”

 

“No,” Allen said with a smile.

 

Snarling, Link put one of his arms over the stall door. “ _Walker_.”

 

Allen’s grin was shit-eating, hands on his hips as he all but sung, “Linky-dinky~”

 

“WALKER!” Link shouted, the two of them hurrying out of the room as they giggled, deciding to avoid the lion that was going to come chase them down later.

 

Reentering the restaurant, Allen and Lavi collected themselves in the pocket outside the restroom doors. They then strolled back to the tables, seeing that Reever had left and Lenalee had scooted over to sit next to Komui instead, Kanda with his face in his hands. Lvellie looked up in confusion, as did Lenalee, and as Lavi and Allen took their seats, they tidied up their spaces before looking at the others like nothing was out of the ordinary.

 

Knowing the question was coming, Allen smiled sweetly at Lvellie. “Link has faced an issue and won’t be out for a while.”

 

“What kind of…” Lvellie trailed off, all eyes snapping up as a large clatter erupted from the restrooms.

 

Not long after, Link strode across the dining room, the stall door under his arm as he walked, though he had it on the opposite side than where the rest of the exorcists and the like were sat. Allen’s smile was that of a child’s, Lavi’s still of disbelief, but Lenalee had her hands over her mouth in shock and Kanda was staring in awe. Komui wasn’t at all phased, Bookman was only surprised, but Lvellie looked like he was witnessing the public execution of somebody he actually cared about.

 

Link walked with his head up, cheeks still as red as the panties he was wearing (perfectly visible on their side), but as he approached the manager at the front desk, he refused them as they reached for the door, holding it somewhat behind him defensively while also shielding himself from the customers who were gawking.

 

“I am taking this with me,” Link said threateningly, the manager holding their hands up in defeat, though Link nodded towards the door, gesturing with his free hand. “Well?”

 

They opened the door for him, and he strode out angrily, leaving the dining room silent for the first time that night. Lenalee looked at Allen once he was outside, scowling like an angry parent as she got up and slapped his arm. Allen only burst into laughter that soon became hysteric, Lavi sputtering into cackles as well, both unraveling, which soon spread to Lenalee who had to cover her face again to try and defeat the contagious giggles. They all could see Lvellie quickly becoming furious, but before he could speak, Kanda broke in first.

 

“What the hell did you do?!” Kanda asked, near amazement in his voice as he was looking between Lavi and Allen, who couldn’t catch a breath to give a response.

 

“Where are his clothes?!” Lvellie then snarled, but even then Allen couldn’t stop laughing; Cross was scarier.

 

As though feeling the need to make up for the evening, Komui put both of his elbows on the table, interlocking his fingers in front of his mouth as he looked to Lvellie seriously. “Lvellie, you don’t need to worry. I’m certain that Allen would not do anything to Inspector Link’s clothes, because they were surely expensive and he wouldn’t want to pay for them.”

 

Choking at the mention of  _expensive clothes_ , Allen froze and looked to Komui, feeling his blood run cold. “How… How much did his clothes cost?”

 

Lvellie only gave a snort, and Allen quickly got out of his seat.

 

“I’ll be right back!”

 

“Walker!” Lvellie jumped up, confidently sneering, “Haven’t you forgotten you aren’t allowed without a monitor?”

 

Lenalee and Lavi both jumped up, speaking in unison, “I’ll do it!”

 

Seeing Lvellie about to challenge them, Komui gave a low chuckle. “They are both qualified, inspector. Lavi is a Bookman first, and my darling Lenalee is my assistant. I’m sure they won’t get into more trouble than Link gets pulled into.”

 

“I second that,” Bookman said, possibly the only words he’d said that evening.

 

The inspector bit the inside of his cheek, appearing as if he wanted to argue, but confliction over being petty was restraining him, though as his eyes panned over the people at the table, he pointed to Kanda. “Fine, but you stay here.”

 

Kanda jostled, glaring daggers and biting back his own snarl, his friends giving him apologetic smiles for abandoning him, but they didn’t stay long before they ran outside, Allen and Lavi charging ahead and cupping their mouths.

 

“Link!”

 

 “Two-Dots!”

 

Lenalee smacked Lavi. “Don’t say that! Why would he come to that?”

 

“I’m not a dog,” Link spoke up, Allen running over to where he was sitting impatiently in Lvellie’s car, the window lowered but the car was off. “Where are my clothes?” he was glaring daggers, but Allen could only smile, though a bit uneasily.

 

“Okay, but first, how expensive were they?”

 

Link’s eyes were full of fire, his hand snatching Allen by the collar and pulling his torso into the car so he could yell at him. “Walker?!”

 

“They’re fine, they’re fine! I’m just wondering!” Allen squeaked, Lenalee walking over but not doing anything to help him.

 

“Allen, just tell us where they are…” she sighed, lips twitching in their attempt to stop herself from giggling at Link’s appearance.

 

Lavi then slid up and covered Allen’s mouth from behind, shushing him, “Wait, wait, first…” he pulled out his phone, a series of snaps leaving it before Link screamed, releasing Allen but missing Lavi as he hopped out of the way. “Link, get out of the car! I need more pictures for my wallpaper!”

 

Link was bristling even worse, barely restraining himself as his fingers gripped the edge of the door, Allen scrambling away from him. “Put the phone down or I’m going to…”

 

“To what? Strangle me? Too bad, that’s one of my kinks,” Lavi said cheekily, Lenalee and Allen groaning.

 

“His clothes are in the trunk…” Allen sighed, walking around to the back of the car where he tried to open it, but when it stuck, he blinked. “Uh, Link, can you unlock the trunk?”

 

Link leaned somewhat out the window so he could look at Allen, eyebrows in a flat line. “I… don’t have the keys.”

 

Lenalee blinked, looking between them all. “Wait, who has the keys, then?”

 

“Lvellie…” Link murmured, falling back into his seat where he groaned and then placed his forehead on the side of the door.

 

“So we can’t open the trunk?” Lenalee questioned, her expression becoming more puzzled, “Allen, how’d you even get his clothes in there? You didn’t go outside…”

 

“Tyki,” Allen only said, sitting on the ground behind the car. “He… hid them for me and got the underwear.”

 

 “There was a Noah here?!” Lenalee then squeaked, “Allen! Why didn’t you tell us?!”

 

“I didn’t care!” Allen whined loudly back, putting his hands in his hair, “They were bickering so much and Tyki just texted me to go hang out with him in the bathroom!”

 

Lavi sputtered, “Allen, I didn’t know you and Tyki were…”

 

Allen’s eyes shot up to him and silenced him, “Do not. He just let me complain and we came up with the joke together.”

 

Lenalee disappointedly crossed her arms. “Allen, you should really be more careful… I mean, what if he actually wanted to hurt you?”

 

Only staring at her for a few moments, Allen started laughing like it was a joke. “No way; our relationship is weird but he wouldn’t attack me in a restaurant.”

 

“Can one of you guys at leave get me a pair of pants?!” Link then shouted out the car, startling them. “Jesus Christ, you can talk about Allen’s relationship with the Noah when I’m not wearing his underwear!”

 

Allen blushed, jumping to his feet and pointing at Link. “Hey! You’ve seen my pants plenty of times and I do  _not_  wear shit like that.”

 

“Bullshit!”

 

“Guys!” Lavi held his hands up, his phone alight in his occupied hand, “There’s a Wal-Mart a few blocks away and we can get Link something from there.”

 

Link sighed in relief, his shoulders dropping their tension.

 

“But Link has to go with us,” Lavi then added.

 

“What?!” Link shot back up and grimaced at Lavi’s gleeful smile.

 

Lavi gestured and motioned like he had it all planned. “Well, we don’t know your size of clothing. Well, Allen might, but do you really trust him after this? What if we bought you something more ridiculous? Also if you’re sitting out here in just your underwear and nothing else, people will get the wrong idea. What if someone calls the police on you? You can monitor your little troublemaker while also getting some clothes! It’s a win-win!”

 

“It is not,” Link muttered immediately. “One of you has to give me their pair of pants, then; I’m not going to be heckled by security or an angry middle-aged woman about how I’m scarring children.”

 

“Why don’t we just go ask Lvellie for the keys?” Lenalee asked, looking between them all like they were idiots. “Did you forget we could do that?”

 

The three men stared at Lenalee like she’d said something brilliant, but then Allen gave an embarrassed chuckle, lightly scratching at his scarred cheek. “W-Well… I don’t want to talk to him.”

 

“You’d rather walk to Wal-Mart with a guy in sexy underpants and buy cheap clothes?” Lenalee asked.

 

“Yep,” Allen turned around and started walking down the street. “The food there sucked, anyway, I want a snack.”

 

“Ooh! I want sour gummi worms!” Lavi ran after him. “I don’t want to hear their arguments, either.”

 

Exasperated, Lenalee sighed and put her hand over her face, collecting herself after the show she just had to watch, but she pulled it away as she heard the door open, Link holding his hand out to her.

 

“Can I have your jacket?”

 

Seeing the defeated look in Link’s eyes, Lenalee sighed again and pulled it from her shoulders, handing it to him where he wrapped it around his waist before climbing out of the car, shutting the door behind him before following the two. Lenalee hurried to catch up to him after a moment’s hesitation, falling in line beside him as she pulled out her phone to tell Komui what they were doing.

“Hey, by the way,” Lenalee said after a moment, “who has their wallet?”

 

Lavi and Link froze, staring back at her as though they just realized, but Allen only smiled back.

 

“I have mine~ he sung, “I had to pay Tyki twenty-bucks for those undies, by the way.”

 

“Allen, how much money do you have left?” Link asked hesitantly.

 

Allen only gave a cheerful smile as he picked up his pace, hands interlocked behind his head. “That’s for you to figure out. Better hope I have enough to buy you some trousers.”

 


End file.
